Management Lessons

LESSON 1:A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.

A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you

and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So,

the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a

sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing,

you must be sitting very, very high up.

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LESSON 2:

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be

able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I

haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my

droppings?"

replied the bull "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey

pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough

strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after

eating

some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a

fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he

was

promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top,

but it won't keep you there.

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LESSON 3:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was

so cold, that the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.

While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on

it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to

realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay

there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing

cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the

sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and

promptly dug him out and ate him!

The Morals of this story:

1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.

2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your

friend.

3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

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LESSON 4:

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to

be boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I

control the whole body's responses and functions. "

The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry the

brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The

hands said, " We should be the Boss because we do all

the work and earn all the money." And so it went on

and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until

finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at

the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole

went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands

clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began

to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all

decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the

motion was passed. All the other parts did all the

work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a Boss

- any asshole will do.